You Can’t Win If You Don’t Play

What’s your passion?

I want to write more. Let me streamline that a bit: I want to write more, send more of my work to an editor and/or agent, get published more, and make more money. You probably want something similar (that’s why you’re reading this, right?)

Now, I could ask myself, why aren’t I? However, a more interesting question that I’m pondering is, What pain am I willing to put up with in my life to work on my passion?

The pain is:
* the early mornings or late nights spend writing,
* the hours spent writing when I *should* be doing something else,
* the tough conversations about why I don’t have time to do ____ because I’m writing,
* the days that are so full that i have no mental energy left over at the end of the day to write,
* the fear that I’ll never make a “living wage” as a writer.

But you can’t win if you don’t play.

So, ask yourself, what pain are you willing to put up with in order to write?

Woman, Writer, Warrior

I’m personally and academically interested in the choices and compromises talented female writers make, more specifically why some women have difficulty giving themselves time and permission to do their writing.

I struggle with my roles as a woman: wife, mother, PhD student, professor, nurturer, and I run out of time and energy to do my creative work. But it has never truly been a problem of time management or writer’s block. Rather the issues run deeper, and for my PhD dissertation, I chose to write a novel and to document my own fluency and resistance as part of my contextualization.

I work up this morning and thought, Holy cow, where did the week go?

This has been a tough writing week for me. I’m 69 thousand-ish words into a draft of my 70 to 80 thousand word romantic mystery novel. And I’m totally overwhelmed about the fact that I’m not writing fast enough, worried that summer, which officially started yesterday, will be over before I can finish my novel, and freaking out because my life is boring (read: wake up, drink coffee and write, and worry about writing).

To put it bluntly, I am, like so many other women writers do, having difficulty giving myself time and permission to do my writing. Even though I need to!

The novel is part of my PhD dissertation – so I have “permission” to write it. If you’re a woman and a writer, you get what I just said – all those hours and hours given to a writing project that were not given to family or work.

I’m trying to cut through and write. But I keep thinking about all the stuff I need to do: clean the house, do the laundry, check work email, call the kids, feed Feral Cat. Feral Cat is a beautiful, but matted tuxedo cat who now lets me pet him, so I’m trying to figure out how to cut his matted fur off without him freaking out. I could do that instead of writing *wink*

So today my plan is to become a writing warrior. To create a writing culture for myself and other women writers that bears witness to the woman writer’s experience.

Have any writing advice for me? Let me know in the comments below.

Writing Tip #3

An oldie, but a goldie, especially for a woman:

“If you want to write, you have to cut through and write. There is no perfect atmosphere, notebook, pen, or desk, so train yourself to be flexible.”
– Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones (p. 101).

Our True Priorities Dictate Our Time

We get told this over and over: We all have the same 24 hours a day and how we use them is up to us.

As if, somehow, we’re focusing on things that aren’t important to us. And that’s what hinders our writing.

But, let’s be honest, there are always competing priorities for a woman writer’s time:

Our job – because we all have bills
Our relationships – dealing with kids, partner, parents
Our health – exercise, leisure, sleep

For women, our true priorities – our relationships, our children, our work – dictate how we spend our hours each day.

We can’t, as so many advice-givers advocate, just make time to write. We have to schedule our writing time around our priorities. We focus on things that ARE important to us.

In addition to being a wife, mother, and writer, I am a college professor. Today is graduation. I MUST be at graduation, right. It’s a school requirement, I can’t skip it and write.

Should I feel bad about that? I think not.

Like me, you have challenges in your life that are personal to you. Your job is to determine your true priorities and manage your time around those priorities so that your challenges do not create barriers.

The solution is not to in time management, it is in priority management.