I’m just going to lay this out there: The rigors of life itself still chip and distance women from their inner lives.
Expecting that women can just take/make the time needed to write ignores the gender socialization that continues to affect the choices that creative women make. In my own experience, I have found that talented and creative women, myself included, still struggle against both societal and personal pressures.
Two decades ago, researcher Livia Pohlman pointed out, that for women, “The conflict between the demands of family life and the tensions inherent in producing creative work may affect adult creativity in numerous and as yet unexplored ways” (p. 3). The women she interviewed found that “their identities were often divided three ways – as a wife, a mother, and a writer – with their sense of self as a writer being in conflict with the gender expectations of being a good wife and mother” (p. 10).
Even though one would anticipate that much would have changed in twenty years, more currently, this same position is supported by Sarah White Bender (and co-writers) who in a research article published in 2013, said, “In place of single-minded devotion to creative work, women’s attention is commonly diverted from creative pursuits to competing interpersonal priorities” (p. 40).
No matter what we’re told, many women who would like to write (or to write more) succumb to a potent brew of upbringing and social expectations, which makes splitting time between the people we love and the creative work we wish to do a wrenching choice.
In her book Art, bell hooks noted, “Most women I encounter (with the exception of a privileged few) feel that we are still struggling against enormous odds to transform both this culture and our everyday lives so that our creativity can be nurtured in a sustained manner” (p. 128).
Our desire to do creative work, in the experience of many women, is treated as an indulgence, and hooks warned us that we cannot wait for ideal circumstances to be in place. She said, “Each of us must invent alternative strategies that enable us to move against and beyond the barriers that stand in our way” (p. 130).
Before you go, ask yourself what alternative strategies can you invent that allow to you nudge things aside to open a space for writing?